A Sunday in Milwaukee

Doors Open Milwaukee - September 22, 2013

Once a year, Milwaukee allows free public access to over 100  historic buildings through its Doors Open Milwaukee event. Although I'm not a big fan of Milwaukee, downtown has lots of cool and historic buildings. We made the 80 minute drive and arrived at the City Hall around 11 am. 

When built in 1895, it was the tallest inhabitable building in the United States (who knew?) and the second tallest building behind the Washington Monument. Architecturally, the building resembles buildings one would find in Brugge. After the building was completed, Frederick Pabst asked "It's a fairytale town, isn't it? How's a fairytale town not somebody's fucking thing?" when he overheard a visitor to Milwaukee dissing the City Hall because it wasn't built in a modern style.

Upon arrival, we climbed the eight floors for a beautiful view of the atrium.

A view from the top of City Hall - only lacking swans to make it somebody's fucking thing.

Looking up inside City Hall - almost as cool as Brugge

Next up, we headed around the corner and east on Wisconsin Avenue to the Pfister Hotel. Reputedly, Milwaukee's fanciest hotel, I thought it was so-so. Nice lobby but drab Victorian art (supposedly the largest collection of Victorian art in any hotel in the world - but that begs the question - so what? - considering how drab Victorian art is). On top of this 1893 Romanesque Revival building is an awful 1960s circular tower. Appalling is the only word for the tower.

We did have one odd moment while outside the Pfister - several teenage boys with baseball card collections were lurking outside the entrance when a 40 something man with slicked hair arrived and began giving autographs. One of the baseball card boys informed us that this apparent celebrity was Mike Matheny - manager of the St. Louis Cardinals. After completing his autograph ritual, Matheny drove away in a beat-up minivan bearing Illinois license plates. I guess being manager of a big-league baseball team isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

Matheny contemplating how quickly he can make a getaway in his hot-rod mini-van

We wandered further east down Wisconsin Avenue to Milwaukee's most famous building that no one has ever heard of - the Wisconsin Gas Building. Better known to the few souls who have heard of it as the Gaslight Building, it was constructed in 1930. The 20 story Art Deco building originally had an open flame at the top, upon which passerbys could forecast the weather thru the color of the burning gas. Removed at the request of the fire department shortly after it was constructed, it was later replaced by a neon flame. 

Upon spotting the neon flame in 1956, Ingrid Bergman swore that she remembered a gas lit flame at the top and began to doubt her own sanity. After a 10 minute wait turned into 20 minutes to see the observation deck, we too began to doubt our own sanity. 

A view from the Gas Light building. Notice the monstrosity that is the cylindrical tower add-on to the Pfister Hotel in the background. Was the architech attempting to gas light people by claiming the tower was build in a Romanesque Style?

Angela Lansbury wannabe at the top of the Gas Light Building

A brilliant view of Milwaukee's Art Museum from the top of the Gas Light Building. Designed by noted Spanish architect, Santiago Calatrava, the museum originally was going to be the backdrop for the opening sequence of Laverne & Shirley; the gals would sing "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Santiago! Calatrava! Quadracci! Incorporated" while skipping by the building. However, the network changed plans after that opening was deemed too esoteric for the test audience of slightly dimwitted beer drinkers.

After the Gas Light Building, we moved another block east to Wisconsin's tallest building, the cleverly named U.S. Bank Center. Standing at an amazing 42 stories, people from Chicago, New York, Hong Kong, and Dubai marvel at the audacity of constructing a building of such a towering height. 

Once in the building, the process at getting to the top was anything but clear. Apparently, the only elevator to the observation is a freight elevator tucked away in a little known corner. And then once at the top, we had to navigate our way through an industrial area that contained many of the buildings mechanicals. Although we found the views of Milwaukee spectacular, large swaths were blocked by the exterior U.S. Bank sign. Nice.

Brilliantly designed observation deck on top of the U.S. Bank Center allowing one a birds-eye view Milwaukee's most appealing neighborhood.

Done with the not-really so tall buildings for the moment, we headed north towards the Humphrey Scottish Rite Masonic Center hoping to see a real-life view of the Kubrick film Eyes Wide Shut. When we arrived, a man wearing a funny costume insisted that we ride the elevator instead of taking the stairs. Another man dressed like the Grand Poobah subjected us to a lecture on George Washington's face, the history of banking, and the origins of the Statue of Liberty. But enough with the lectures, we wanted to see where the Eyes Wide Shut action went down so we wandered around the complex and found some very strange stuff indeed. 

Deep in the heart of the building we found a row of barbers chairs.

One can only imagine what these are used for

And then we happened upon this bizarre sign:

I don't remember Kubrick requiring wrist watches and eye glasses to be removed during the making of Eyes Wide Shut

Finally, we found the costumes for the double secret probation ceremony.

Are these costumes more Animal House than Eyes Wide Shut?

All that secret ceremony stuff made as really hungry, so it was time to find lunch. On our way, we were held up by two things that made Milwaukee famous. First was the Fonz.

A pose no tourist has ever taken

Second, was the Wells Street Bridge across the Milwaukee River. A vertical lift bridge, we saw it in operation as a boat passed under. Instead of swinging upwards and towards the shore like the common drawbridge (technically called a bascule bridge), the vertical lift bridge lifts straight upwards when in use. The Wells Street Bridge was built in this style because the designer was unhappy with the French influence upon Milwaukee (the city's most famous university was named after the French explorer and early basketball pioneer Jacques Marquette) and didn't want a French named bridge (bascule is the French term for seesaw and balance).

After perusing the German themed restaurants on North Old World Third Street, we dined at Maders - supposedly North America's most famous German restaurant. Mader's past diners included John F. Kennedy, Gerald Ford, and Ronald Reagan. Some say that President Ford tripped on the carpet of Mader's after eating a hearty meal of bloodwurst, pig ankles, and Schwarzauer (a German stew made of goose giblets, vinegar, and peppercorns), prompting the Secret Service to order Mader's to remove its nice German shag carpet when President Reagan visited several years later.

Because the Sunday afternoon lunch prices were exorbitant, we ordered french onion soup, a plate of spatzle, and of course a cheese and sausage plate. Other than the pretzel bread that was served before the meal, the food was pretty bland and boring. But again, it was German food.

Mader's - Invented Lunchables 

Custom made chair for Chris Farley when he dined at Maders

After finishing our $35 Lunchables meal, we toured the the Moderne, Milwaukee's (and hence, Wisconsin's) tallest building west of the river. Unfortunately, the characterless apartment we toured did not match the snazzy exterior of the building.

As we ambled down Juneau Avenue towards Lake Michigan,  we visited several churches and cathedrals, which Milwaukee is not lacking for. We also paid a brief stop to the Valentin Blatz Brewing Company Office Building, now part of the Milwaukee School of Engineering. We were lucky enough the see the original Blatz vault, which kept Pabst and Schlitz from stealing the recipe for its truly insipid beer. 

Finally, we found ourselves at the Astor Hotel, a grand apartment / hotel built in the 1920s. The hotel retained its original wonderful lobby, with the traditional mailboxes behind the reception. Unfortunately, the rooms we toured looked like they were furnished in the 1970s and the beautiful ballroom smelled of mold. 

Michelle Obama's shoe inside the Astor's bar

Done with touring the buildings, we wanted to get a latte before we headed back to Madison. And here's why I don't particularly care for Milwaukee - it was around 5:30 pm on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon and no one was out and about in downtown Milwaukee. And except for a few bars, there was nothing open either. No local coffee shops. Not even a Starbucks. I don't get it - downtown Milwaukee is denser than Madison with all the hi-rise apartments and condos and yet not a soul was to be seen. What were all the people that ostensibly live there doing? Contrast that to downtown Madison, or Williamson and Monroe streets - and lots of coffee shops and other businesses would be open with people milling around on the sidewalks.

We ended up walking all the way to the Milwaukee Public Market in the Third Ward in order to find a cup of coffee. And even the Public Market was going to close at 6 pm.

And there you have, our day in Milwaukee.