No Pho at the Wat Pho

January 18, 2014

One of the reasons we had come to Southeast Asia was for the food. Pad Thai, Spring Rolls, and of course, Pho, the noodle soup which some say was influenced by the French dish Pot-au-Feu. But pho is a Vietnamese dish and we hadn't expected to encounter it till later in our trip. When we heard of a temple named the Wat Pho, we marched quickly there believing it to be a whole temple dedicated to that delicious soup.

The Wat Pho is one of the oldest and largest Buddhist temple complexes in Thailand. It is also considered Thailand's first public university and is known as the birthplace of the traditional Thai massage. All this was great, we could attend some interesting university lectures while receiving a great massage and we could then top it off with a steaming hot bowl of tasty pho.

As we waited in line to enter the temple, we were startled to see "Beware Pickpocket Gangs" posted prominently at the ticket window.

Pickpocket gangs? Wow! The pho must be really delicious to attract enough people to make it worthwhile for whole gangs of pickpockets to hang out there.

Not only did we  have to worry about gangsters - but the temple obviously didn't like tall people either.

As we entered the temple, we spotted some wild looking stone statues that had originally been brought over to Thailand on ancient Chinese trading boats as ballast. 

Temple scarecrow used to scare the bejesus outta the roving pickpocket gangs

Now inside the temple complex, our mouths watering, we went in search of the legendary bowl of pho. Lots of people were taking their shoes off and entering an large ornate structure and we thought this must be the hall where they serve communal soup.

With another gangster warning, we believed we had discovered the mess hall

Upon entering the building, we were stunned to see a humungous statue of the Buddha in a reclining position. Forty-six meters long and fifteen meters high (that's 150 feet by almost 50 feet for us archaic measurement using Americans), the Buddha represents the dying moment of Buddha when he entered into Nirvana. In Buddhism, Nirvana refers to the imperturbable stillness of mind after the fires of desire, aversion, and delusion have been finally extinguished. It's also sometimes confused with a Seattle grunge band. 

A strong smell of teen spirit permeated nearby

Nevermind

Covered in gold leaf, every detail of the the Reclining Buddha is larger than life - even the feet are five meters long.

Toe, meet hand

If too much music from Kurt Corbain ails you, the laughing Buddha will bring some joy and lightheartedness

We left the building containing the Reclining Buddha and continued our search. We spotted a giant rock statue of Marco Polo. Clearly, this must be the way to the pho as Marco always loved a good bowl of soup after a hard day of exploring.

Marco Polo, inventor of a game played in Florida swimming pools

We spied some monks in the distance. Surely, they must be heading for soup line. Alas, they were only watching a craftsman plying his trade. 

Buddhist monks with the latest in umbrella styles

Stupas inside the Wat Pho

As we continued our quest for that elusive bowl of pho, we ran across a Foo Dog, faithful companion to the Seattle band, Foo Fighters - which of course was formed by former Nirvana drummer, Dave Grohl. 

A Foo Dog, donated by a distraught Nirvana and Foo Fighters groupie

Although we hadn't found any pho yet, the temple was giving out for free those two items that the Buddha thought most essential to life's happiness: water and wifi. We used the occasion to rest for a few minutes in the hot sun and post some photos on Facebook - indispensable to any vacation.

After circling the temple complex, we finally came to the conclusion that the Wat Pho had not a drop of pho, or any other soup for that matter. It was all a plot by the pickpocket gangsters to lure hungry and unsuspecting tourists.

Having avoided being pick pocketed, we left the temple and found some great street food nearby. We got a delicious plate of grilled squid and chicken for less than three dollars.

Not pho, but almost as good

After finishing our snack, our next destination was Khao San Road, the legendary neighborhood for budget travelers and backpackers. Having walked since early in the morning, we decided to take the Chao Phraya Express Boat, which is an aquatic bus that goes up and down the river.

Like all buses carting children around, the aquatic Chao Phraya Express Boat is yellow

Notice the woman with dreadlocks to the right - which is the required attire for backpackers heading to Khao San Road.

After a 15 minute ride, the boat dropped us near Khao San Road and we prepared to venture into a backpackers paradise. Next up, will it be meal worms or tarantulas for dinner?

The Grand Palace and Beyond

January 18, 2014

The Grand Place has been the official residence of the Kings of Siam (and later modern day Thailand) since 1782. Although the King has not lived here since 1925, the Grand Place is still the center of ceremony and monarchy. Instead of being one giant building like a traditional European palace, the Grand Palace consists of numerous buildings set around open lawns, gardens, and courtyards (though there is no Marriott on the grounds).

As we entered the grounds of the Grand Palace, we joined a long queue of people in what we thought was the ticket line. However, palace workers kept gesturing at us as if we could skip the line and move on. Great, another ploy to get us to hire a private guide at exorbitant rates. Then we realized we were in a line for people who were too scantily dressed for the sacred and venerated palace.

If your attire (or lack of attire) could cause excitement among your fellow palace goers, the palace would supply you with a more conservative outfit. Being prudish Americans with a good Puritan upbringing, we were allowed to bypass the line in our modest digs.

On the grounds of the Grand Place - clothing still intact

Having made it past the clothing police, we headed for the Wat Phra Kaew which is the Temple of the Emerald Buddha. The Wat Phra Kaew is the most sacred Buddhist Temple in all of Thailand. It consists of several buildings, the highlight which is the central ubosoth (the holiest prayer room in a Buddhist temple) containing the actual statue of the Emerald Buddha.

As we entered the temple complex, we immediately discovered that this was a much more heavily guarded temple than the Wat Mangkon Kamalawat, the Chinese Buddhist temple we had visited that morning. Whereas the earlier temple's Guardians of World were only allowed to carry parasols, pagodas, and mandolins for weapons - the Guardians at the Wat Phra Kaew were allowed nasty looking swords.

She makes a fine Guardian of the World, doesn't she?

Our first stop in the temple was the Phra Si Ratana Chedi. Chedi is the Thai word for a Buddhist Stupa. Stupas can be bell like structures containing Buddhist relics (often the ashes of Buddhist monks) and are used as places of meditation. The golden Phra Si Ratana Chedi is said to contain an actual piece of the Buddha's breastbone.

The Phra Si Ratana Chedi - covered in golden Italian mosaics 

In the hot tropical sun, a Chinese guard looks wistfully at the refreshing bottle of water.

After being accosted by the Chinese guard for my water, we ran into Hanuman, a Hindu god who is also a vanara, a monkey-like creature.

By George, I am curious about these Hanuman

We also spotted a Kinnaris who, in Southeast Asian mythology, are half-bird, half-women creatures known for their dance, song, and poetry. They are also a traditional symbol of feminine beauty, grace and accomplishment.

Please no dance, song, or poetry!

Reminded by the thought of poetry, Becky realized she had an overdue book in her backpack. Remembering the Madison Public Library's return the book to any library policy, we frantically looked for the nearest library. Luckily, the Mondop Library was on the temple grounds. Unfortunately, two fearsome looking Guardians of the World barred us from returning the book.

Returns not allowed at the Mondop Library

The library was also protected by Nāga, the Hindu and Buddhist deity, who takes the form of a five headed king cobra.

Nāga, sworn enemy of Rikki Tikki Tavi, but best buddies of Lord Voldemort's pet, Nagini.

Afraid the Library Cop from Seinfeld might track her down in Southeast Asia, Becky tried to give herself some good karma by greeting Nāga in the traditional American Midwestern style.

Yo Nāga!

Sill worried about her over-due library book, Becky thought she could exorcise those personal demons by dancing with demon guardians holding up a stupa.

Dance of the Demons

Finally, we had reached the building which houses the statue of the Emerald Buddha. According to legend, the statue was created in India in 43 BC. However, art historians argue that it was carved out of jade in northern Thailand around the 15th Century AD. Whatever the truth, the 26 inch Emerald Buddha is deeply revered and venerated in Thailand and only the Thai King is allowed to touch it.

Although we were allowed to enter the building housing it after removing our shoes, we were prohibited from taking a photo of the Emerald Buddha.

Inside the Emerald Buddha is on display

After seeing the Emerald Buddha, we left the Wat Phra Kaew complex and headed back to the main palace grounds. 

Traditional good-bye at the Wat Phra Kaew exit

We passed the another beautiful building on the palace grounds called the Phra Thinang Boromphiman. Outside, a modern Guardian of the World stood ready to prevent any loud and boisterous American Midwesterns from entering.

These Guardians have moved from swords to guns.

As we approached the main exit to the palace grounds, we said farewell to a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Becky in good spirits when she realized the Royal Thai Army soldiers were not going to accost us about her overdue library book.

Grabbing a refreshing bottle of ice tea on the streets, we headed for our next cultural hot-spot, the Wat Pho, home to the giant reclining Buddha. But before arriving there, we did what any good tourist does, and perused the Buddhist amulets at the Ta Prachan Market.

Stalls upon stalls sold tiny amulets with thousands of images of different animals, Buddhas, monks, and even phalluses. These amulets supposedly can bring good luck, true love, money, or even wild sex. The amulets are usually manufactured by monks and fortunes are made from selling the amulets, causing allegations of corrupt monks and temples. 

Will it be true love or wild sex today?

Next up: the Wat Pho don't serve no Pho!

Good Morning Bangkok!

January 18, 2014

In Thai, Bangkok's full name is กรุงเทพมหานคร อมรรัตนโกสินทร์ มหินทรายุธยามหาดิลกภพ นพรัตน์ราชธานี บุรีรมย์อุดมราชนิเวศน์มหาสถาน อมรพิมานอวตารสถิต สักกะทัตติยะวิษณุกรรมประสิทธิ์, which everyone knows means

The city of angels, the great city, the residence of the Emerald Buddha, the impregnable city of Ayutthaya of God Indra, the grand capital of the world endowed with nine precious gems, the happy city, abounding in an enormous Royal Palace that resembles the heavenly abode where reigns the reincarnated god, a city given by Indra and built by Vishnukarn.

According to that source of all sources, the Guinness Book of World Records, this makes Bangkok's name the world's longest location name. With a name like that, a city is bound to attract a lot of inhabitants - 11 million for those counting. Having only two days to meet and greet all those people in the Grand Capital of the World, we arose bright and early.

The breakfast at the iSanook (Sanook means "fun" in Thai - so I think the hotel thought of itself as an Apple themed fun hotel) was on the sixth floor rooftop terrace that gave beautiful views of the surrounding city. We agreed the hotel had the best breakfast we had in Indochina - with a buffet of fruit, yoghurt, cereal, and pastries (very Thai-like, right?). Best of all, they had an espresso machine - though it was broken the first morning.

Authentic Thai breakfast of American style food.

After our hearty American/European breakfast, we were ready to explore. Because Bangkok didn't become a megapolis until after World War II, much of the city resembles a concrete jungle, with very little green space. To try to counter this, many people grow tropical plants on the rooftops and balconies of their buildings.

"Green space" on top of our hotel

Our plan was to walk the two and a-half miles to "Old Bangkok" which contained the Grand Palace and famous temples. Almost immediately out of our hotel, we saw a golden bowling pig, obviously an homage to bowling in that other city of angels, Los Angeles, made famous in the Big Lebowski. 

The Dude would be proud

We were taking the 5:55 am train to the Cambodian border in two days, so we scoped out the Hua Lamphong Station while heading to Old Bangkok. Built in the Italian Neo-Rennaissance style in 1916, the station was a little slice of Europe in the heart of Bangkok.

Hua Lamphong Station - a throwback to the golden era of train travel

To our surprise, we discovered some fantastic culinary delights while walking through the station. 

The Hotdog Waffle - the treat that made Bangkok famous

Mr. Bun - given three stars by Michelin

Upon leaving the station, a Thai solider stopped Becky and made her salute the Thai flag.

Attention!

During the 19th Century, Bangkok was known as the Venice of the East due to canals that dominated the city.  Although many of the canals (known as Khlongs in Thai) have been filled in, the Khlongs still criss-cross the city. One of the original canals, Khlong Phadung Krung Kasem, which runs right next to Hua Lamphong Train Station, marks the unofficial border of Bangkok's "old city."

Is this how Venice looked in the 19th Century?

After walking 20 minutes from our hotel, we had not seen any evidence of the massive Bangkok shutdown that was taking place, other than perhaps reduced traffic on the street (it was Saturday and we had never been to Bangkok - so we didn't know whether the rather sedate traffic was normal). However, we did see handbills announcing the upcoming February 2 election that the protests were attempting to stop on various poles around the canal.

Apparently, women don't vote in Thailand

After crossing the bridge, we entered the Yaowarat neighborhood - which is home to Bangkok's Chinatown. For two centuries, Yaowarat was Bangkok's commercial center. Even today, the area was teeming with stores selling everything you could imagine - from simple combination locks, an entire mall selling only cell phone and tablet cases, street stalls with dildos, and a block of stores peddling wooden coffins.

How'd we end up in China?

After several blocks of walking through the crowded neighborhood (even the wide sidewalk was difficult to navigate as it was filled with street stalls), we came across our first Buddhist temple, the Wat Mangkon Kamalawat. And it was a dandy.

We were a little tentative about going in at first - not having been in a Buddhist Temple before and not knowing whether it was acceptable to just walk in - but saw lots of other people entering and taking photos with their cell phones and iPads so we just followed the masses.

The largest and most important Chinese Buddhist temple in Bangkok was thronging with people buying flowers and food and leaving them at the various alters or temples located in the giant complex. People were also lighting incense all around us.

The main entrance had huge statues of what I later learned to be the four guardians of the world. They were frightful but fantastic images. In the Buddhist faith, they protect the world and fight evil.

Guardian holding a dangerous pagoda for weapon

Parasols - one of the main weapons of choice for the Guardians of the World

A Guardian with a mandolin - another fearsome weapon

Inside the main temple, a Buddhist ceremony was going involving fantastic sounding chants. All while people were milling about, making offering and taking selfies on their iPhones.

The Main Event

A sumptuous lunch for the Gods

Finished with the temple, I had to use the restroom located right outside and discovered a large mural inside the men's room that was dedicated to Wisconsin winters.

In Thailand, the harsh Wisconsin winter is considered a sacred laxative

Karl Malone was upstairs giving autographs but was disappointed with the misspelling of his name.

Leaving the temple, Becky decided that it was time to sample the Thai iced coffee we had heard so much about. She approached a women on the street who had a large vat of ice with a large plastic bag full of what appeared to be unappetizing drink material. We pointed at a cup and she mixed up the coffee, ice, Carnation sweetened condensed milk, and some sugar. All for about a dollar. Although the process of making it didn't look so great, it was really good.

As we moved closer to the Grand Place, we saw our first evidence of the Bangkok protests - razor wire strung across one of the streets.

Thai iced coffee and razor wire - an excellent combination

At this point, we were pretty hungry and couldn't find any places that looked like a restaurant you would see in the States (a place with dining tables inside) - so we approached a building on the corner that had a couple of tables and a small grill outside and pointed at a table. Amazingly, the women standing next to the grill gave use two menus that had about four items on it in English. I ordered the fish ball soup. Becky had the pork soup. I don't think she was enamored with it as I was with mine. But I thought lunch was a pretty good deal for a total of $3 for both of us - with drinks.

Fish Balls on the Street

After lunch, we made a short stop at the City Pillar Shrine. First erected in 1782 when King Rama I moved the capital of Siam to Bangkok, the shrine contains a wooden pillar that symbolizes the stability of power needed when a new city is established. The pillar was moved to its current site, opposite the Grand Palace, in 1853 after four snakes slithered under the shrine - which was taken as an omen that Bangkok would only be capital for 150 years.

The entrance to City Pillar Shrine - No Snakes Allowed

Notice the elephant tusks surrounding the pillar -  an inspiration for fans of Fleetwood Mac and college marching bands

As we crossed the street to get to the Grand Palace, we saw a giant elephant monument in the middle of the intersection. This seemed an appropriate place of our first selfie of the trip in a country that is obsessed with the selfie.

In fact, the Thais are so obsessed with taking selfies, that Thailand's Department of Mental Health recently issued a dire warning to youngsters, claiming that taking and posting selfies on the web could lead to mental health problems in the future, especially related to self-confidence, and this could unexpectedly cause a negative effect on a person's everyday life, future career and even the country’s development. The Department explained that some people are happy after sharing a selfie and getting few likes, while others expect as many likes as possible and become addicted to being liked. 

Addicted to being liked

As we arrived at the palace, our morning in Bangkok was over. Next up - how Grand can a Thai palace be?

When Going West Means Going East

JANUARY 16 & 17, 2014

Amidst the coldest winter in memory, we decided to escape Wisconsin by heading west to spend time in the East. We were both excited and nervous about our first destination, Bangkok, because of the unrest that had been roiling the city for the past few months. In fact, three days before we left, the opposition in Thailand planned to shutdown Bangkok until they overthrew the government. It promised to be a show with everything but Yul Brynner. 

We awoke early to take a taxi at 5:25 am to Dane County Regional Airport (once used as an air force base during WWII to fend off the German Menace then threatening Wisconsin) for our 7:45 am flight to Denver. Since it would take approximately 26 hours to reach our final destination, we wanted to see how Becky would hold up. And so we began a series of photos chronicling the effects of such extended travel.

Looking good and fit at MSN for her extended journey.

Our flight to Denver was uneventful and we arrived on time (we were originally a little concerned as the scheduled layover in the Mile High City was only 42 minutes) at the largest airport by area in the United States (a fun fact for you!).  Since our layover was short, we had no time for an omelette, Denver or otherwise.

About to board for San Francisco and looking good after the first leg of our trip.

Our flight into SFO was also on time and without incident - although we had to wait on the runway for 15 minutes because our gate was occupied by another plane before de-boarding. Although the climax in Bullit took place at SFO, we saw no sign of Steve McQueen's ghost while heading to our next flight. Becky should have worn the obligatory flowers in her hair and sampled the delicious San Francisco Treat of Rice-A-Roni, however, she was more concerned with making sure her phone had a full charge for the long flight to Tokyo.

No sign of wear and tear at SFO

After a very short stay by the gate, we boarded and found our seats on a 747, known as the Queen of the Skies, that would take us across the greatest ocean for the first time. To Becky's horror, our economy seats did not have our own personal video screen to view movies and play games as had our flight to Istanbul the previous year. She was almost besides herself on how she would make it through the 11 plus hour flight to Tokyo. Luckily, I had come prepared by packing a brand new copy of The Quiet American, Graham Greene's masterpiece novel set in 1950s Saigon.

Becky obviously disturbed at learning that we had no personal video screen for the flight across the Pacific.

Becky's horror turned into a further nightmare when the flight's first film began without any sound and only Japanese subtitles. It took the flight crew a while before they realized the problem and apologized profusely to the first class passengers. Apparently, us Steerage passengers weren't worthy of an apology. 

One bizarre moment happened about five hours into the flight when a flight attendant brought a plate of fancy french cheeses and fruit and informed us that because I ordered a vegetarian meal earlier, I was entitled to the sumptuous fromage plate 

We also struck up a long conversation with the woman from California (by way of St. Augustine, Florida) next to us who was also flying to Bangkok for the first time. She was going to Thailand for a month between jobs and had similar concerns about the Bangkok Shutdown. This would not be the last time we would see her.

When we approached Narita International Airport, I expected to get a glimpse of the wonders of Tokyo. Sadly, I saw only fields, a few roads, and some small buildings as the sun set while we landed (it was approaching 5 pm in Japan). I learned later that Narita is 35 miles from Tokyo. 

Upon arrival, we were concerned that we might be detained if we whistled the tune from One Night in Bangkok since the song was about chess and the former eccentric grandmaster, Bobby Fischer, had been detained and deported from Narita in 2004. Luckily, as you can see from this exclusive film footage, the Japanese were more than welcoming:

Becky being greeted warmly by our Japanese hostess upon arrival at NRT

Ancient Samurai drawings recently uncovered by archeologists at the airport

We had less than one hour to explore the flagship Japanese airport, so we started off earnestly. Bypassing the free sake shots that were being handed out to bleary eyed people coming off our flight, we headed for toilets, the one area that will tell you instantly everything you need to know about a country. And we weren't disappointed. The men's room had the whole range of latrine methods from the simple hole in the ground to a electronic toilet seat with a host of buttons on it. Becky fiddled around with the fancy buttons on the women's toilet and found that they would do everything from spraying water out of the bowl to making a fake flushing noise. A faking flushing noise. Everyman needs one of those in his toilet.

Having inspected the powder room, we moved on to the airport souvenir shop. We saw all sorts of things we could buy for the children but they were all marked in Yen. And we had no idea what the exchange rate to the dollar was. Did 400 Yen for a small origami kit mean we would have to delve into our imaginary Swiss Bank Account? Or was it affordable? We turned to leave, afraid of blowing the kids' college savings at an airport gift shop, when I saw the exchange rate posted by the cashier. Imagine that! It turn out it was 102 Yen to the dollar. We quickly bought the children some small tacky souvenirs and headed to our gate as the plane had already began seating.

Once on board another 747, also known as the Jumbo Jet, we discovered that we were once again assigned a seat next to our gal from California (by way of St. Augustine). Oddly coincidental? Or were we being tailed by a CIA spy? Being exhausted, all three of us crashed for most of the seven hour flight to Bangkok. We even passed up the meal service as our bodies had no idea what time it was.

Finally, over 26 hours after leaving Madison, we landed in Bangkok at 11 pm local time (it was 10 am Friday back in Madison). Strangely wide awake, we quickly made our way through immigration and customs as we had only carry-on luggage. Once into the regular area of the airport, we withdrew some Thai Baht out of the ATM, bought some drinks (I got the obligatory guava juice - Becky bought strawberry tea - who buys strawberry flavored items in Thailand?) to get some small change and took the our last airport photo to show the effect of 26 hours of travels on Becky.

Still looking fantastic at BKK

We then grabbed a taxi, who took us on a mad 25 minute drive (driving fast and furious like my younger self as a cab driver 25 years ago) to our hotel in downtown Bangkok. He apologized when he took one sharp turn particularly fast. 

We quickly checked into our hotel in the bright, modern, and cheery lobby of the iSanook. We inspected our room and found it had another one of those windows that had a great view of the toilet from the sleeping area. Same as we had had in Istanbul the year before. What's up with that?

Apparently, privacy is optional

We FaceTimed the 'rents to let them know we had arrived safely. They informed us that there had been a grenade attack in Bangkok earlier in the day (the taxi driver had complained about the protesters - or maybe he was praising them - it was hard to tell with his limited English and our complete lack of any ability to speak the native tongue). An auspicious beginning to our trip.

By this point, just after Midnight, Becky was up for a late-night snack. The reception guy told us there was a 7-Eleven around the corner. A 7-Eleven? In Bangkok? I traveled ten thousand miles just so I could go to the same convenience store a few blocks from my home in Madison? Awesome!

After a short walk through the warm tropical night, Becky purchased some chocolate and a crustless sandwich (which we were to encounter throughout Southeast Asia). On our way back to the hotel, we saw what we thought was a pretty little temple next to our hotel. We were to learn later that when a new building is constructed, it disturbs the spirits living on the land. So the Thais build a nice little house for the spirits to move into. Every day, the locals leave food and drink for the spirits at their little home. But with the lighting on it, I don't think the spirits were getting a lot of sleep.

That's the Spirit

Finally, we found sleep. Next up, does one night in Bangkok make a hard man humble?