Day 7 - August 28, 2013
We awoke to find out that our apartment had no water. Because this happened to us in Istanbul earlier this year, could this be a pattern? When I called the apartment owner, he informed me that the city was doing work outside so they had turned off the water. He also informed me that he had known about this yesterday. Hmm, you'd think he could have warned us so we could have gotten up early enough to bathe. On the plus side, he was very apologetic and offered the use of his home a few blocks away to shower. However, we thought it best to just pack up and hit the road.
About halfway to Quebec, I stopped to get gas at a little rural station. It had one of those old style pumps without a place to pay by credit card. When I went inside the station to pay in advance, the proprietor insisted in pumping for me and inquired in broken English whether I was European. Ha!
Lunch at a McDonalds about 60 kilometers from Quebec was disgusting. However, our attempt at order was quite comical as the cashier knew little English and my French accent was probably just as bad. When I asked for "un shake vanille, si vows plait," the cashier looked at me like I'm from a foreign planet. Then a lightbulb went on in her head and she said "Milkshake?" Who knew the word was the same. I then requested "un meal pour un enfant." Again she looked at me with a puzzled expression. Then her coworker said "happy meal?"
Shortly after leaving McDonalds we discovered more evidence that something sinister is going on in Canada. Look carefully at the sign on the back of this vehicle.
Lunch at a McDonalds about 60 kilometers from Quebec was disgusting. However, our attempt at order was quite comical as the cashier knew little English and my French accent was probably just as bad. When I asked for "un shake vanille, si vows plait," the cashier looked at me like I'm from a foreign planet. Then a lightbulb went on in her head and she said "Milkshake?" Who knew the word was the same. I then requested "un meal pour un enfant." Again she looked at me with a puzzled expression. Then her coworker said "happy meal?"
Shortly after leaving McDonalds we discovered more evidence that something sinister is going on in Canada. Look carefully at the sign on the back of this vehicle.
The Canadians disguising their military vehicles as "student driver" vehicles; more evidence of impending Canuck invasion?
When we arrived at our apartment, Thane and I were shown the apartment twice. Once by owner and once by her 12 year old daughter so she could practice her english. After unpacking, we headed to Québec's old city - which is completely surrounded by its original walls - the only city like that in North America outside of Mexico and the Caribbean. It's as close to Europe as you can get this side of the Atlantic.
We split up as Emily wanted to play in the park next to the city's massive fortifications. Thane, Nastassja, and I headed to the famous Chateau Frontenac - supposedly the most photographed hotel in North America. However, this is Québécois propaganda as everyone knows that the Motel 6 on the south side of Gary, Indiana has been photographed far more often.
A distant second to the Motel 6 in Gary.
We descended to the lower town and found further evidence of Canada's increasing militarization.
It's no coincidence that this cannon faced south towards the United States.
Pointed in the general direction of Scranton, Pennsylvania - this cannon could wipe one of America's most beautiful cities off the map in a blink of an eye.
For this reason, the United Nations Security Council recently pass a resolution calling for Canada to allow its inspectors to search for weapons of mass inspection or face an embargo on the export of "Oh Canada" 45 rpm records. Face with such an crippling embargo, Canada acceded to the U.N.'s demand and several of the best UN inspectors arrived on the scene.
He trained under Hans Blix's tutelage.
Another UN inspector telling the press she was taking no questions as she arrived.
Because the notorious Canadian secret police were everywhere, one of the UN inspectors was forced disguise himself as a local.
A brilliant disguise.
Our man in Quėbec headed to the famous Notre Dame des Victories, first built in 1687 and used in the film Catch Me If You Can. With the location of the church being used by a film with such a taunting name, our young inspectors deduced that the church was probably a hiding place for the weapons of mass destruction.
No sign of Leonardo DiCaprio
Upon entering the church, one of the weapons of mass destruction was discovered in a brilliant hiding place - hanging from the ceiling Canada was placing a miniature ship obviously to be used to cripple Maine's lobster industry.
Clearly, more dangerous than Colin Powell's infamous yellow cake.
Afterwards, our young inspectors all headed to Restaurant L'omelette to celebrate a hard days work with Mouse au Chocolate.
The Swedish Chef prefers Chocolate Moose.
As night fell, we wondered what diabolical plans were being hatched high up in the tower.
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