The Griswolds Scale the Mont

Day 6 - August 27, 2013

The day started as the others have in Montreal, except Nastassja went with me to Second Cup for our lattes. After breakfast, we split up with Becky and Emily heading back to the Old City while Nastassja, Thane, and I had grand plans to scale Mont Royal. But first, we wanted to get into mountain climbing shape by scaling the steps of the St. Joseph's Oratory, Canada's largest church.

Preparing to climb the steps to the oratory so they can brush up on their public speaking skills.

The dome on the church is the third largest of its kind (St. Peter's in Rome of course being the largest). The photo doesn't do it justice, but it was quite the climb to reach the top. 

She heard that there was a gift shop at the top so she's racing faster than a speeding Mountie.

Nastassja loved the superb view of the mansard roof on the College Notre-Dame du Sacre-Coeur far below.

The College of Notre-Dame in the background. Lou Holtz got his start here before moving up to the University of Notre Dame.

Once inside, we headed to the reliquary to see Frère Andre's heart, wholly enclosed in a jar of formaldehyde and on display for all to see. Frère Andre was a controversial figure in Canada, reputedly able to cure  thousands with miraculous healing powers at the beginning of the 20th Century. He later achieved sainthood under Pope Benedict. Unbeknownst to most, he also invented the little chocolate mints that are served by restaurants with the bill.

The heart of miraculous healer and tasty after-dinner mint inventor Frère Andre.

We then made a short four mile walk to the downtown for lunch. On our way, we discovered evidence that the Canadians are planning a mass invasion of the U.S.A. 

Notice the cannon and massive fort in the background. A plot to invade the United States and make God-Fearing Americans eat Canadian bacon?

We stopped for a lunch of pizza and moules at Restaurant Pino near the Musee Beaux Arts. And of course, like any true American tourist, we had to get some obnoxious photos with the art outside.

An early rendering of Mr. Snuffleupagus.

Since all horses are requisitioned for the Royal Mounties, the locals are reduced to riding their bovine cousins.

Busted

The Canadian Academy Awards are Life-size.

After our cheap, tacky diversion, we began to prepare for our ascent of Mont Royal. Like on the slopes of Mount Everest, the weather can change at any moment on Mont Royal. Therefore, we all practiced dodging snow.

Many a fellow climber have met their doom on Mont Royal because they did not adequately prepare for the vagaries of the mountain's weather.

Because we knew scaling the heights of Mont Royal would be a Herculean task, we began with a reading from Sir. Edmund Hillary and declared "It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves." Despite these words of wisdom, Nastassja almost collapsed in shear terror when she saw the steps we would have to climb.

With the oxygen thinning because of the high altitude, Nastassja was on the verge of collapse.

However, Thane and I were able to coax Nastassja forward with gentle words of encouragement. And up we went. 

To the top, I say!

After about a 20 minute strenuous climb, we reached the Chalet Mont Royal - which although not at the summit, had a spectacular view of Montreal and beyond.

She made it, and there really was a gift shop at the top!

We pushed onwards, reaching the summit about 30 minutes later. On our descent, we reached the Croix de Mont Royal, which was first placed here in 1643 by the founder of Montreal, Paul de Chomeday de Maisonneuve. As you can see from the photo below, the 17th Century French had very advanced metal working techniques.

Paul de Chomeday was the great-great-great grandfather of Gustave Eiffel.

Having scaled the heights of Mont Royal, we headed back down to the city below and a comforting ride on the Metro home.

Meanwhile, as we were climbing Mont Royal, Emily was engaged in dangerous activities herself.

Dangerous teeter-totters are placed throughout Canada to lure unsuspecting Americans who will then be forced to use Canada's socialized health-care system to treat their injuries.

Another dangerous plot against innocent Americans who may get water in their eyes.

Canadian ice-cream intended to elevate the blood-sugar levels of American children.